Believe it or not, I get resumes that . . .

  • Are sent directly from phones and signed, “Sorry if there are mistakes in this email, I am sending it from my phone and I’m all thumbs.” Isn’t that how you text – with your thumbs?
  • Are form framed in blue dotted graph lines. What kind of imagination is required to fill in a form? Will this person ever be able to think outside of the box?
  • Are not even remotely related to the posted job. Are these the same people who complain that they can’t find a job?
  • Are signed, “I can be contacted at allspicebaby@yahoo.com.” Either this person is too spicy or is underage.
  • Have a ton of misspelled and missing words. Does this person know how to use spell check? What other basic Microsoft Word applications don’t they know?
  • Don’t have any contact information except for an email address. Am I supposed to address them as “Dear noname@yahoo.com?”
  • Are composed of blurbs, not complete sentences. If I ask this person what their strengths are, will they respond with, “able to multitask.”
  • Open with, “Dear Hiring Miss Jevahirian.” Will this person write client letters starting with “Dear Client Miss Smith?”
  • Say, “Please review my resume.” Is this a directive? Do lawyers approach the bench and say, “Please hear me out judge?”
  • Say, “Please take a look at my resume and call me for an interview soon.” Sure, I’ll call you as soon as I can. And what if I don’t?
Categories: Resumes